Inside Job

Visual Alchemy 33

 Visual Alchemy

This is in collaboration with Leigh of, Not Just Sassy on the Inside…. We have been asked to write on the subject of Forgiveness, now many of us have written on forgiveness, but it is an ongoing process as long as we are in a body and still have an ego running the show more often than not. So forgiveness is an ongoing process. About a month ago, (and I wrote about it here) I did something that would give someone an opportunity to practice forgiveness. Lol Not for that reason, I just made a mistake. Just moments after I made this mistake, I knew that I had made a mistake. I had allowed the grumpy butt aspect of ego to act out. “Drats” I cursed at myself, “Why, oh why had I allowed Grumpy Butt ego to have a voice???” But alas I had, and the damage was done.

I have blogged before Neale Donald Walsh’s story “The Little Soul and the Sun,” and in my mind I always return to it. However even if I did give someone else an opportunity to forgive me, I would rather have not created that disturbance in the force. So now I have an opportunity to forgive myself. I have not been able to as of yet. I know better. How can I be a good example? How can I be a spiritual voice, when I allow anger to come forth from my mouth? I am ashamed of myself, and embarrassed by it. I know, I know, that sounds harsh and all my sweet blogger friends are going to tell me we are just human, and it is true, but I hold myself accountable. I am certain that this will not be the last occasion that I give myself an opportunity to forgive myself, but I will do my best to keep it to myself and just forgive the anger inside. I just do not wish to ripple any negatives into the universal field. I am sure you all understand that. However had I not made that mistake, it would not be out on the table for me to examine, the harsh light of day shinning right on the ugliness, revealing it. I suppose letting it issue forth in that vein was good because it is not hidden in the shadows but blatantly revealed.

So do we let our monsters out of the closet, or do we go in after them with a flashlight? A work in progress, we all are.

I am of the mind that I am not a victim, that you are not a victim, and that in this dualistic realm we inhabit, we are responsible for everything in our lives. Some people just don’t buy that concept, but self-sovereignty is my belief. I love being the creator of my existence, and owning all my stuff. So thank you Leigh for giving me the opportunity to review this. I was going to write about forgiving my father for not wanting to be a father, but I discovered I already had, there is nothing to forgive. Really, Forgiveness is an Inside Job.

 

Namaste

Sindy