Transforming Your Inner Victim
I Have an Inner Victim? Me? No way!
By Joyce Jackson
Achieving our desires, including love, career success and happiness, involves dissolving our blocks. We are naturally wired for love, success, happiness and security. However, we go about throwing all kinds of blocks and walls in our way based on fear. Wrapping ourselves in the cape of victimization is one of those blocks. Dissolving and transforming those inner victims of ours smooth’s the way to fulfillment.
No one likes to admit it, but we all have elements of an inner victim inside us. It can creep its way into our lives in sabotaging ways. When you can recognize some of the characteristics of your inner victim, you can change it and dissolve the blocks that hold you back.
Here are some clues your inner victim is at work:
- Generalizing statements: a.”Everyone in my profession is like this.” b. “If I’m going to have THIS, I’m just going to have to sacrifice THAT.”
- Comparisons: a. “Everyone else is doing well or accomplishing their goals.” b. “If my ex (mother, father, sibling, boss, politician, the economy, etc) hadn’t interfered then things would be fine.”
- All or Nothing Thinking: a.”This relationship is the best one I’ve ever had. If it doesn’t work out, then there’s no one else out there for me.” b. “If I don’t get a publisher, then there’s no way I can get my book out there.”
- Procrastination & Avoidance: a.”This just isn’t the right time to make a change.” b. “I’m just too busy to address this or get this done.”
- Brooding: a.”Nothing good can come of this.” b. “I’ve tried to change that but it doesn’t work.”
- Blame: a. Putting everything in the hands of someone else – even God. b. Refusing to accept responsibility for the role we play in our own drama.
Add up all those statements and this doesn’t sound like a person whom any of us would want to be around. However, we all hold some of those beliefs some of the time! You CAN do something about it and dismiss the victim.
Here are some trusted ways you can send them packing and transform the inner victim into the inner champion: first, take careful notice of how and when these feelings and beliefs are surfacing and be willing to challenge them every time they arise. If there is more than one area, just pick one. Ask yourself, “Am I willing to accept that an alternative possibility may also be true?”
Second, ask yourself what details you are willing to change. That is the biggest step in real, permanent transformation.
Third, focus on the bigger picture, on themes rather than the story. Sometimes we get so caught up in extraneous details they redefine the story altogether. Use the I Need Principle, as in, “I need a job.” For example, a sour economy doesn’t mean that you can’t look for another job. But that detail derails a lot of people. That’s when we lose sight of what’s most important: of who we are and what we really need.
The details don’t matter! When you redirect your focus on the main issue, it dissolves the inner victim and allows your power center, will and source of boundaries. That’s where you dissolve the victim and let your true self shine through.
I will share my thoughts on Non-victimization at another time ❤